Heroically Defending Our Freedoms

This is a perfect parody of the self-parodying rationalizations that the warmongers trot out whenever they’re faced with the task of explaining why the US government absolutely must kill lots of people in Iraq and Afghanistan (and Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen…), people who’ve done nothing to harm any of us over here in the land of the free, and who, for the most part, probably couldn’t give two shits about the United States–except for the fact that there are all of these guys running around in camo with American flag patches on their sleeves and shooting at them for some reason:

Literally tens of Americans were shocked this week to discover that the United States military likes to kill people. Unsettling news, yes, particularly for those of us who had assumed in good faith that one million Iraqis had accidentally slipped on a banana peel one morning and fallen into a pile of mislaid cruise missiles, but before we leap to all sorts of unsightly conclusions, calling Our Boys “mass-murderers” just because they happen to enjoy the occasional mass-murder, let’s remember that in the fog of war with the eggs and the omelettes and the War Is Hell, who can say what’s right and wrong, what’s good and evil, who’s an unarmed pregnant woman and who’s a ticking time bomb threatening to produce future foreigners? Our troops have a job to do, after all – defending our country from those countries who would defend their country from our country – and if we hounded and nit-picked them after every little massacre, gang rape or atrocity, they’d hardly get any killing done at all.

The Medium Lobster, Fafblog

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