Is frozen pizza a cruciferous vegetable or a leafy green?

What could possibly be more ridiculous than Congress declaring frozen, mass-produced “pizza” a vegetable?  Perhaps declaring that this particular act of Congress represents a BETRAYAL OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE and a FAILURE TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!!

But this is what Congress has done. It has let the American people down and failed to protect our children. As Michele Simon astutely points out, “Congress has hijacked the USDA regulatory process to do the food industry’s bidding.” How much longer will we allow Big Food and our government to propagate lies about food and compromise the health of our nation’s children for their financial and political gain?


In order to believe this, you’d first have to believe that Congress actually represents The American People(TM) and that they actually give a rat’s ass about protecting the children.  You’d also have to believe that the fate of the nation’s health hinges upon whether fresh fruits and vegetables are being served in school cafeterias, instead of the usual (literally) warmed-over shit (powdered mashed potatoes and these curiously spongelike “nuggets,” purportedly made from chicken, were a couple of the classics from my time in the adolescent daycare system).

You’d also apparently have to think that it’s a good idea for the government to be involved in deciding what constitutes a healthy diet.  “But,” I can hear some goo-goo saying, “the government’s already involved in deciding what we eat.  We might as well try to influence it in a better direction.”  Well, yeah, but that hasn’t worked out very well so far, has it?  Better get to work on that lobbying budget.  In the meantime, you could pack your kid’s lunch and make sure she gets some real food for breakfast and dinner and not waste your time worrying about what Representative Jones, D-ConAgra has decided to call a vegetable.

You could also reconsider your support for a school system that’s subject to the whims of a corrupt political system.  Please, think of the children!